Rounding the second month of the Covid-19 quarantine can feel a lot like Groundhog Day. I personally can’t wait until face masks and the term “social distancing” become as passé as “Y2K”. Unlike Y2K, however, the realities of the pandemic will persist until science fixes it. In the meantime, we need to find ways to navigate the kaleidoscope of emotional reactions that arise during this challenging and complicated time. Our emotions can shift as rapidly as government directives and will also vary depending on the givens of our particular situations and the psychological lens through which we view our world. That said, many of my clients share the following.
1) Anxiety and Loss of Sleep: The tremendous uncertainty that we all face regarding what our world will look like in the coming months can createa sense of hopelessness and worry about the future. Some may experience panic attacks, while others feel a background buzzing of fear that can lead to feeling on edge or to difficulty sleeping. Try this: Since fear is focused on a future over which you have no control, do your best to stay as present-focused as possible. Focus on a plan for today and how you feel in the moment. Try these mindful practices to help calm your nervous system. Avoid news, social media, and negative friends who activate your fears.
2) Grief and Depression: The pandemic has brought tremendous loss: of life, of livelihoods, of our usual lifestyle. People are absorbing the gravity of what is happening to human-kind in general and to their own self and loved-ones. Everyone is having to adjust quickly to tremendous change. Try this: Grief is the recognition of actual loss and tends to pass through in time. Depression adds another dimension by creating more meaning or worry around the loss and, left unchecked, tends to persist. Acknowledge the grief without adding additional meaning, then focus on finding moments of joy, connection and gratitude. Remember that change is a constant of life, and ways you and others have successfully adapted to change in the past. Consider the many examples of inventiveness, resourcefulness, creativity, and humanity that have emerged from others during the pandemic.
3) Anger, Resentment and Irritability: As people grow increasingly weary, it’s natural to feel on edge and irritable and wanting to find someone to blame. Living in close quarters may try your patience with your family. It’s also easy to resent those who you perceive have it easier than you and don’t understand what you’re going through. Try this: Recognize that these emotions are outgrowths of anxiety, grief and depression. Have compassion for the feelings, pause, and tend to the underlying emotions.
4) Feelings of Isolation: Even people living with others are experiencing feelings of isolation since they are limited in their social interactions. Try this: Keep yourself occupied (see Boredom below). Connect with people outside of your household even if you can’t in person. Think of how you are connected to others; remembering that this is a shared world-wide experience helps connect us.
5) Boredom: For those who do not have enough to occupy them, it can be difficult to fill the days and the boredom can become intense. Try this: Try to adopt a beginner’s mind in seeing each day as a new adventure. Switch up your routines to add some variation; reach out to someone with whom you’ve lost touch; find opportunities to be of service; reconnect to hobbies and joys from earlier in life.
6) Overwhelm and Helplessness: While some are battling boredom, others are overwhelmed with too much to do (work, caring for and home-schooling children). Others can feel a sense of overwhelm and helplessness over the enormity of what is happening. Try this: If you are called upon to do too much, accept that you can’t do everything. Accept not being able to operate at 100% and take breaks wherever possible. Focus on what you can control such as staying safe, staying present, and being in gratitude.
7) Exhaustion and Lack of Motivation: Whether people are busy at home or not, many feel exhausted and lacking in motivation. Anxiety, grief, uncertainty and complications of daily life take up a lot of psychic energy and is exhausting, especially if sleep is impacted. Priorities shift. Try this: Know that these are natural feelings and don’t be hard on yourself. Don’t be over-ambitious - take it easy, and nurture yourself.
8) Shame: Shame can arise when people judge their own reactions as aberrant. This includes introverts and homebodies not hating the quarantine, and people feeling like they should be accomplishing more projects during the quarantine. Try this:Accept that everyone’s experience is different and don’t judge how you feel or act. Enjoy what works for you and at the end of each day congratulate yourself for getting through another day relatively intact.
9) Taking Stock: The pandemic is raising existential awareness and making people more reflective about life, relationships, career etc. Try this: Taking stock is an invitation to create wanted change. While you may not be motivated to take big steps now towards change, keep track of reveries you may have for the future. These will be good to turn to when you are poised for change. In the meantime, practice gratitude for what is working in your life.
10) Life Interruptus: Whatever plans people had for 2020, the pandemic created a hard vinyl scratch as life as we knew it came to a screeching halt. If things were already difficult, they have become more so. If life was going well or looking hopeful, the rug has been pulled out from under you and supplied disappointments and grief. Try this: Life can be difficult at times and will often throw curve balls- this is just one of many. Our task as humans is to learn how to adapt when things suddenly change. Remember this is happening to everyone so don’t take it personally. Remind yourself of your resiliency and ability to bounce back. Take it one day at a time and remember this too shall pass.
If you are looking for more tips and support, please visit my resources page.
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